I need something that’ll alter my mood.

really, I just need to be left alone. i feel like i haven’t been myself in awhile. i guess idk so much things are going on i don’t know how to handle and prioritize. i havent been content, i won’t be.  i don’t really know who to talk to i dont know what to bring up. smoke to a fucking terrible month, i hate september. i don’t really know where i fucking belong or if im in the right place or anything. idk wtf im thinking other people probably have it worst than i do. fuck this shit though… i like not being sober. a lot, less worries like absolutely nothing is bothering me. i like tuning off i like not caring. so just fuck it